THE JOURNEY

I like this quote from former Jersey girl Brooke Shields:

“Someone said adversity builds character, but someone else said adversity reveals character. I’m pleasantly surprised with my resilience. I persevere, and not just blindly. I take the best, get rid of the rest, and move on, realizing that you can make a choice to take the good.”

Life is a journey, and it is in the living of the journey we find life. We can’t always control the circumstances of our journey, but we can decide how we are going to respond to them.

When we take ourselves too seriously (Oh I’ve never done that), there is little resilience. We can be blinded by our pride and not see the cliff in front of us. A lesson learned is never be afraid to ask for help.

Adversity can build something of great value in us. The Scripture puts it this way, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ” James 1:2-4

Indeed, “let perseverance finish its work”. Being complete is a good thing. Please be encouraged.

 

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PASSION

I heard author, speaker, Simon Sinek touch on the illusive topic of passion during an interview. I wanted to share some of his thoughts with you.

“Passion like profit is a result.”

“When we work hard for something we don’t believe in, it’s called stress. When we work hard for something we do believe it it’s called passion. Passion is not the entry point it’s at the exit point”

“The question is not to find your passion it’s what do you believe… what are your ideals? what are your values?…align yourself with those people, those organizations and you show up every day with passion. So It’s not a manufactured feeling. It is a result of being around people who share your values, have your back…people you trust.”

“It’s why we like to be around friends…”

I would love to hear you thoughts.

It’s a new day… live it!

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This month I want to share with you what’s on my heart.

While revisiting a favorite book, I came across the following that spoke to my very being; “A.W. Tozer said a long time ago, ‘Culture is putting out the light in men and women’s souls.’ He was right. Dullness is more than a religious issue, it is a cultural issue. Our entire culture has become dull. Dullness is the absence of the light of our souls. Look around. We have lost the sparkle in our eyes, the passion in our marriages, the meaning in our work, the joy of our faith.” *

I was struck by the news that a NYC police officer was assassinated in her police cruiser for no other reason except she was a cop. A cop just doing her job and now there are three children without a mom. Today as I write this her funeral is taking place and nothing has changed.

 How many young people are going to have to be murdered in the inner city of Chicago before real honest action is taken? Action not motivated by a political agenda, but to bring restoration, sanity and self-respect back to the culture. The author was right, our culture has become dull, so dull in fact we’ve become stupid.

We are seemingly dull to right and wrong, love and hate, law and order…dull to goodness and embracing madness. Lawlessness being driven by entitlement seems to be the mantra of the day. The breeders of this hate never have real answers, just more hate and more division. There is no room for real discussion, only name calling. Truth is not important…agenda is. And it is precious people who are being used as pawns in a selfish, deadly game.

There was a prophet in the Old Testament name Jeremiah. He was not popular because the words God spoke through him went against the culture. He said this, “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?” (Jeremiah 17:9 nlt) God let His people know that their hearts had become hard to His ways and they turned away from Him and had focused on themselves. Being lead by their deceptive hearts they found themselves in ruin.  But that is not the end of the story, God also said this, 14 “if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” (2 Chron 7:14)  Guess what? They did and He did!  Yes the nation humbled itself, turned from their wicked ways and God healed their land.  

Please take a look around you, we need healing and we need it bad. Could the old expression be true? “The heart of the matter is a matter of the heart.”

Joe

* Dangerous Wonder  Mike Yaconelli, p 24
 

 

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FACING THE LION

I love the movie The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe adapted from the book by CS Lewis There is a scene where the one of the children ask the beavers about someone named Aslan. What the children don’t know is Aslan is a lion, but he is unlike any lion they could imagine. The question asked is, “Is he (Aslan) safe?”  The beavers reply, “no, but he is good.” (yes the beavers talk in Narnia). And he is good, very good.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to come face to face with a real lion. I don’t know if I would be so paralyzed by fear that I would just freeze and pray or just run. Yet there are times in our lives when we face situations that can cause the same reaction. Perhaps it is an important life change, a business decision that involves risk,  a new job, loss of a job, etc. We start asking the “what ifs”. We find ourselves not being able to sleep at night, eating too many Bon Bons, bingeing on whatever,  because fear is taking hold.

I recently embarked on a project that involved risk. There was a cost involved and I could feel the fear beginning to do its work. I suddenly found myself doubting and having a tough time sleeping. So it was time to face the lion.

I began by asking myself  an important question:  Why did I commit to this in the first place?  Answer:  because  I believed it was right for me. In asking the “why” question I needed to make sure my ego was in check. If not, my decision/your decisions can be skewed.  While writing this, I recalled an earlier blog. It was the counsel given by coach John Wooden. “What are you committed to? Know who you are. Stick to your principles, make choices that are in line with your principles, and deal with the results.”  That just about says it all.

After my weighing and praying time, there was peace. The fear had lost its power. This lion had been defeated.  I continued to move forward, successfully bringing the project to completion. I realized the re-examining process is a key to any important  decision. If you come out on the other side knowing in your heart it is the right thing, you push away the fear and you are more determined and committed than ever.

But I know the lion will show up again, roaring loudly, trying to invoke fear. He will show up the next time I face a situation that involves a step of faith…taking a risk. When he does I need to remember Who my faith is in and what I’ve just shared with you. Note to self…

It’s a new day-live it!

 

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WHERE ARE WE GOING?

Ok, so here is our word for today: nomophobia. Nomophobia is the fear of being without a mobile device. The term is an abbreviation for “no-mobile-phone  phobia”.  It is such a statement about our culture.

Simon Sinek author of “Start with Why”, a book I would highly recommend, did an interview where he speaks to this issue and others. Though the talk is aimed at Millennials in the workplace, I know plenty of Boomers who need to hear this. And if you’re a Boomer who has a Millennial child or grandchild, please take the time to view it. Likewise to you Millennials, I think you will find it insightful.

You may or may not agree with him…I would love to hear your thoughts.

It’s a new day…live it!

 

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JUST ASKIN

Have you ever heard a co-worker, family member or even you, ask a question that was really about shifting the blame? Or maybe it was allowing a person to vent, but they were not genuinely looking for the answer? Could it be that this really boils down to not taking personal responsibility?

When questions begin with:

When will that…

Why don’t they…

Who is going to clean this…

Why do we have to…

These types of questions make us sound like victims or worse whiners don’t they? Perhaps there are better questions to be asked.

When questions begin with:

How can I be …

What can I show…

How can I communicate…

What can I do to rediscover…

There is real growth and real answers being sought. And the only place the finger is pointed is at oneself. Unproductive questions begin with why, when or who. Productive questions put the responsibility on I. And most importantly they must focus on action.

Which type of questions would improve your job, your marriage, your family, your life?

Just Askin…

It’s a new day…Live it!

*Questions taken from QBQ by John Miller

 

 

 

 

 

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PRAISE OR AFFIRMATION?

Is there a difference between praise and affirmation? Not a question I spent a lot of time thinking about until recently.

Some months ago one of the new additions to the management team at work paid me a compliment. I believe it was sincere, not back handed in any way, but it just didn’t land right. It felt a bit disingenuous. I didn’t understand it until I read the following: “Praise has everything to do with what you do. Affirmation has everything to do with who you are.” Author and Clifton Strengths coach Allan Kelsey continues with, “Clearly these two ideas are not the same and need to be treated differently.”  He elaborates that praise is about a job well done, but affirmation has certain requirements. To affirm someone you need to know them. And I believe that’s what was going on in my situation. This  manager was attempting to affirm me, but did not know me and so it felt cheap.

The book I  quoted from is “Strengths Based Marriage, co-authored by Allan Kelsey and marriage counselor Jimmy Evans. I am currently working with a young couple doing their  pre-marital counseling and this book  has been  a wonderful resource. Listen to this powerful thought from Kelsey.  “Praise cannot say to your spouse: I see you. On the other hand, affirmation can and will say: I see you. There is no way to truly affirm someone without his or her feeling seen or understood.”

If you are a manager, supervisor, leader, spouse, parent or friend, are you seeing those in your care, seeing those you love? The truth is we all need to be seen…all of us. Please SEE someone today.

It’s a new day…live it!

 

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DON’T COMPARE MON FRERE

On February 22, 2016 I posted my first blog. I want to thank you for reading and for those who subscribe a thank you, thank you. Today’s blog marks a change from weekly to monthly.

In this anniversary blog I want to encourage you in your giftedness and uniqueness. Staying true to my mission  statement, “helping you discover, restore and enliven the ONE you were created to be”,  here is a quick video on the dangers of comparing yourself to others by comedian Tom Shillue.

It’s a new day…live it!

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I am going to talk about KISS. No, it has nothing to do with Valentine’s Day. KISS is an acronym for “keep it simple stupid.”

Sometimes we can over think things in our lives to the point of inaction. Are you making things harder than they need to be to get where you want to go?

Is there something in your life that should be simple and it has suddenly become a tangled web that you have helped to weave?

There are times in our lives when we need to get some outside advice from a trusted friend, counselor or coach. When we are too close to an issue we can lose perspective. The voice of a third party can help us simplify what we are not seeing.

There is beauty in simplicity.

And for the record, you’re not stupid.

It’s a new day …live it!

 

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